Today I thought I'd share one of my painting/poem combos with you - Heaven's Embrace, created at David's Tent this August, acrylic on canvas (24x30").
During a time of worship I saw in my minds eye God splatting/splashing layer upon layer of paint at someone from one side and then the other – it was like a hug of paint! God sometimes likes to knock us sideways with his love and grace, to take us by surprise.

I think it had a lot to do with what I wrote in a past post – I hate being a beginner! I normally like experimenting and learning new things but at this stage in my journey I was feeling impatient to be much further down the line – confident and successful, not clueless and pants!

But watercolours, especially, pushed all my negative buttons, why?

1. the colours weren't strong enough
2. they kept blending together and everything ended up green or brown
   
3. it was all so permanent, each mark, each splash of water and you were committed, no real potential for layering and interacting, it's all so thin and flat
   
4. the materials were so expensive
5. there seemed a lot of preparation
6. moan, moan, moan!

I was being encouraged to be playful, to work on many pieces at the same time, layering and splashing which sounded nice in theory. In practice I was really aware of how much money I'd already sunk into this undesired medium, so felt an internal pressure to produce masterpieces each time I put brush to paper and this really stifled me.

Watercolours had also been introduced as an extension to my doodling process with the suggestion I could pray and worship whilst painting. However the angst I was feeling felt far from worshipful.

I am normally quite a determined and tenacious person, so I dug deep, I asked some friends to pray (yes it had been genuinely upsetting me and I needed supernatural help), I did my research, and I committed to embracing this challenge, to putting in the hours needed.

Research
I trawled Pinterest until I started finding some inspiration – watercolours I actually liked. Here is my Watercolour Pinterest board. I followed artists on Instagram joining in with colourplay challenges they set and asking them questions.

I searched Youtube for techniques I liked – clingfilm, cheesecloth, pipettes, heat guns (coming across even more materials to purchase)!
I learnt about paper types and weights, stretching paper on boards, watercolours blocks and inks, tubes vs pans, student vs professional grade paint.

I decided I liked the smooth paper which I discovered is called 'Hot pressed' or 'NOT' (as in not cold), I realised it was more economical to purchase large sheets from Hobbycraft and cut them up into a variety of sizes. I bought 9mm plywood at Ridgeons, who cut a number of drawing boards for me from the large sheets they sell. I set about learning to stretch my paper so it doesn't buckle... and then how to get it off the boards again once finished!

I learnt that the student grade paint I bought to start with was going to give me grainy and low lustre results. My teacher suggested I buy just the primary colours of the professional quality mega pricey tubes and I could definatley see the difference in colour vibrancy. On Youtube I'd seen people use Ecoline watercolour inks and get vivid results, so I bought a small sellection to trial, which I loved and so now have bought a larger collection to play with.

Embracing the challenge
I decided to engage with the playful experimentation necessary for learning, I needed to forget about the cost of the materials, not seeing each piece of paper or squeeze of paint being 'this' much money but rather the cost as a whole, being an investment in me learning something new. I like working big and messy, so I put large pieces of paper on the floor and splashed/splatted paint, even walked paint over them making watercolour footprints.
I still find having a 'not caring about the results' attitude difficult (which seems to be important when experimenting) but am doing my best to hang loose. I have found that failed attempts become pieces to play with or can often work well when cut into smaller parts.

I've realised that one of my issues with learning watercolours is that I paint to express myself and to worship. There is a wonderful freeflowing quality to watercolour painting, it has a mind of it's own. But, especially when new to this, there is little intentionality possible, it's all just happy accidents. It might look nice, sometimes, randomly, but it's not me expressing myself. I think it's this, as well as having to concentrate on technique, that causes the distance I currently feel from being able to worship through watercolours. This is, of course, fine. My desire to learn a new way of being creative is, I believe, in itself honouring to God. And it's early days, as I grow in knowing how to manipulate the paint and water, the potential for intentionality and self expression will grow.

So that's been my experience of beginning to learn to use watercolours. More downs than ups, more fight than reward yet, but I feel I'm starting to find some things within this medium that I could develop and run with.
Here are my most current attempts. Techniques I am enjoying at the moment are blowing with a straw, chasing dribbles with a heat gun, trapping paint under plastic, drawing with a pippette, dragging with a toothpick and bleaching with water.
If you'd like to follow my watercolour journey, I'm keeping a watercolour diary album on facebook, sharing my discoveries, experiments and the results in more detail.

I've recently rejigged this website to include a 'work on paper' page, deleting my photography page (as I'm at my page limit without paying for an upgrade). So this challenge is well and truely being embraced!

Planning to be a more regular blogger than recent times, I thought that as well as sharing my journey and ponderings with you, I would also share about the pieces I'm creating.

So today I'm posting a poem I've written. It's about our 'God of the detail'

MAGNITUDE OF MINUTIAE
Seeing beyond, beneath, behind
Drawing out detail
Calling out the gold
Connections
Paradigm of the lovely
Always more
Unnoticed, untold
Acknowledged and significant
The magnitude of the minutiae
No stone unturned
Extravagant play in obscurity
Intricacy shouts glory, shouts holy, shouts worthy
Intimacy singing songs of love
Passion to communicate
You entered the minuscule
Deepest needs met
Pardoned, made whole
Understood, with purpose
Acknowledged, accepted, adored
Agast
Held in your delight
Embraced in the detail.

It appears within the art world that mystery is important to many. The most sophisticated art websites seem to include almost no information at all, just untitled, unexplained and unpriced images of work. Making one feel uncultured, unenlightened and rather unwelcome, and the artwork unattainable. It's all very trendy, but I feel the need to buck this trend (and risk being uncool!) My aim is to be transparent. For people to know that I'm learning, know about my mistakes and struggles, and from watching my journey be encouraged to have a go themselves.

So today I choose the somewhat embarrassing subject of pricing one's work – yes actually asking people to pay for my smudges of paint!

I decided to start working full time as an artist in January and within 3 days I had received 3 separate commissions (great confirmation this was what I was meant to do). Taken by surprise I hadn't thought about prices, and as they were all for friends, I asked them to pay me what they felt was right. Ten months down the line having invested in materials and a painting coach, and with an exhibition coming up, someone kindly suggested that it was time for me to create a price list.

My first hurdle was getting over the confusion of whether, by selling my paintings, I was in fact charging for my prophetic gifting (a lot of my work has been in response to what I believe God is wanting to say to people or is an act of worship). Very keen not to be like the temple money lenders in the bible that Jesus got so frustrated with, I sort advice and accountability. I was reminded that many people earn money because of their gifting – preachers, prophets, administrators etc. By asking for payment for my artwork I am valuing what God is calling me to do, and I'm enabling myself to continue doing it. I was encouraged to not over-spiritualise things but rather be upfront and matter of fact/businesslike about it. Allowing people to invest in my art work, but also to invest in me and what God is doing in me.

So next question... how on earth do I know what prices to charge?!… time for some more advice.
I asked my artist friends how they had done it and I asked Google. This was the most helpful article I found www.theabundantartist.com/pricing
These are the things I did or have decided in response to the advice given:

1. I researched prices online and locally
2. I decided (at least to begin with) that I would price work related to size, for clarity and consistency
3. I was told to think of my favourite piece and was asked what amount of money would make me feel comfortable in order to part with it, what felt right? (one of my 24x30” pieces - answer was £300) I then considered how long my paintings take on average to create (answer ~8 hours). I'm told a reasonable hourly rate is between £20-30, and added in the cost of materials and overheads. My conclusion was to price my 24x30” paintings at £270.
4. I then used the linear inch method (outlined in the website mentioned above) to calculate the prices for the other sizes ie. 24”+30” = 54 x £5 = £270, 20”+ 20” = 40 x £5 = £200. I reduced the cost slightly for work on paper as people don't expect to pay as much when work is not on canvas.
5. I was told that I should add about 30% to this price for commissions for the extra administration/work that is involved
6. I researched giclee printing, I was told people usually ask for 1/3 to ½ of the cost of the original (deciding to offer 10 limited edition prints on paper or canvas in 2 sizes – both smaller than the original piece)
7. I researched frame sizes and prices, it was suggested I offer framing as extra and add a 10% administration charge (otherwise I will sell prints in matting that fits standard 'off the shelf' sized frames)
8. When I next exhibit my work (which I aim to do next July) I will raise my prices a little to help cover exhibiting costs. When approaching galleries I will be doubling this price (this would mean I receive slightly less return for my work due to commission payments but is worth doing to keep my prices down for any private sales whilst benefiting from the publicity & exposure of a gallery).
9. Once I'd created my price list, I immediately 'went public' with it. Posting it on my Facebook page and my website.

And here it is…

It's early days and I still feel awkward telling people my prices but at least now I know what to say. It helps a lot to know that I have done my research & followed advice. I've not just plucked figures out of the air but can explain the reasoning behind my pricing. I also have a number of ways that help people afford to make a purchase without shooting myself in the foot: I offer different sizes/prices of work (starting at 5x5” for £50), I accept payment in instalments if needed & I offer giclee prints, with the option of occasional discounts if I choose.

People are aware that I am just starting out and it's been suggested to me that they will expect my prices to rise over the next number of years. Because I am committed to pursuing this as a career, it actually makes my work a good investment for buyers/collectors as the value of my art should be on the increase!

I've started pursuing painting properly this year (got myself a coach, bought materials, I'm doing lots of research, cleared a work space, cleared my diary) and now a few months in I'm a little puzzled to find that my confidence is at an all time low.
Apparently, this is quite common. After the initial excitement of finally getting to follow my dreams, of getting creative juices flowing and the fun of getting started, I've found myself tripping over feelings of frustration and regret that I didn't start on this journey sooner, impatient that I'm not 10 or 20 years further down the line.

I remember reading about this in the book 'The Artists Way' by Julia Cameron (a book that I've found SO helpful, although a bit Newagey at times)
"Don't measure beginning work against the masterpieces of other artists. Mistakes are necessary, stumbles are normal. Progress not perfection is what we should be asking of ourselves. Not too far, not too fast. This goes against the ego's grain. We want to be great - immediately. It is an awkward, tentative, even embarassing process. There will be many times when we won't look good - to ourselves or anyone else. We need to stop demanding that we do. It is impossible to get better and look good at the same time. You must be willing to be a bad artist. Give yourself permission to be a beginner. By being willing to be a bad artist, you have a chance to be an artist, and perhaps, over time a very good one."

I decided recently that one way of giving myself a break from trying too hard and expecting too much was if I closed my eyes. Blindly selecting felt tip pen colours from my bag and making marks whilst worshipping, then seeing what I'd drawn and adding into them a little with water and more pen. This has introduced me to a much freer, more expressive and fun way of working.

It's not been a very comfortable ride so far. I repeatedly face the paper or canvas not knowing how to get the materials I've bought, to do what I want them to do.  At times my feeling of inadequacy is tangible, my chest tightens my heart fluttering with anxiety, my eyes fill with tears, I feel fearful, angry and over whelmed. I feel foolish and rubbish.
WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT?! I've always loved being creative, learning new things, experimenting with arty stuff? I guess, truth is, it's never mattered as much as it does now. Now I call myself an artist, now I'm doing what I've always wanted to do. Am I going to actually be good enough, will I manage to meet my own expectations and high standards?

So what do I do? I turn up to the 'page' each day. I stop striving, I let go of years wasted and years not yet lived. I play, I experiment, I pray, I worship, I receive grace, I embrace the moment, the process, the journey. I trust and lean into God's calling and delight in me.

... I hesitate to post this as it's all so obvious, it's common sense really. But where the rubber hits the road, where the paint meets the canvas takes a step of faith, which takes us out of our comfort zone, and maybe me sharing about the road I'm travelling will help you a little, as you step out of your boat and into whatever you're meant to be doing next.

The end of a rather tiring but lovely summer holiday is here, they are back at school and I have some time to  write my next post.

So I was telling you about why I've started working with a painting coach

"I'd found myself painting regularly in public, getting commissions for work and had this growing visual song within me that needed some way of expressing itself. But with canvas in front of me and paint on my brush I didn't actually know what to do with them. I'd been to art foundation college, studied as an art teacher but no one had ever taught me how to paint! When I came to the canvas my lack of technique and experience was making me feel inadequate and rather vulnerable in the public role I'd found myself in. I have asked Pattie to help me overcome this, to help me grow in technique and ultimately to find my unique visual voice."

It started with 'daily doodles' - sketching while I pray and seeing what comes. They often became impromptu poetry writing and bible study sessions as God spoke to me as I drew. Here are a few of my first ones.

From reading these you can see my frustration to find time and space to be creative, and a rising urgency and desire to find my voice and worship.

As the days went by I began to see shapes repeating and developing – seed pods, things unfurling. A subconscious connection with the creative awakening taking place. Pattie encouraged me to put together a Pinterest board on this theme and linger through the images whilst listening to music (she calls this an Eye Gate)

I was taken completely by surprise that poetry regularly accompanied my doodling, it just seemed to naturally appear – this was the start of God calling me into a new season of using words (which I'd always thought I was rubbish at). In seeking to find my visual voice, God had snuck in a sneeky plan to help me find my written voice as well! Pattie commented on what I'd written and suggested I start writing a blog, which I laughed at as a ridiculous idea that I would never have the confidence or ability for. But look at me now!

Last week I served at Newday youth festival and joined the ND Creative team for the first time. My role was studio manager, management support and to generally look after the team's needs. What an amazing experience and a privilege to work with such talent!

Writers, cinematographers, producers, film directors, editors, sound technicians, photographers, creative directors, graphic designers - I had NO idea how much work, skill and long hours went into this side of the Newday event.

Blogs, social media, magazine articles, audio files, live footage, countless photography stills, interviews, short films packed with truth, helping us celebrate, making us dance, making us think, making us laugh, making us cry, ...and I'm sure I haven't mentioned it all!

It took me a while to get up to speed, I now know what treatments and rushes are, and what producers, cinematographers and editors actually do!

A typical day would start at 8am with the team management meeting followed by the production meeting at 9. Writers, sound technicians and photographers then had morning deadlines. The film team would give me a props list, various logistics, venues and people to secure for the days multiple afternoon shoots. It was often like being on an episode of The Apprentice for instance sourcing a chefs hat, teapots, posh crockery and high tea provisions for 26 (a thank you film for those serving on the catering team), or 9 rolls of gaffa tape, 68 bottles of paint and a cherry picker (a paint fight filmed from above).
As well as that day's shoots, the film team would also be making final edits (following feedback in the morning production meeting) on the shoots from the previous day, ready for the big top evening meeting at 7pm where their work would be viewed by 7000 people. Sound and film teams would then work through that meeting recording live footage, followed by an evening of uploading audio files and editing the day's film, often late into the night.

Meals got missed, sleep was limited and time off didn't happen much. It was a place for professionalism, constructive criticism, collaboration, support, empowering, apprenticeship, mutual respect and appreciation, and a reaching together for excellence (within our limited time restraints).

Newday Creative devoted themselves to this exciting, rewarding, vulnerable, exhausting, skilful, passionate endeavour of communicating truth, of engaging, challenging and entertaining people through their creativity. Bringing flavour, colour, fresh dimensions and depth to Newday, a voice that echoed first across the big top and now ripples out through social media to those who weren't even there.

These guys are passionate about what they do, passionate about Jesus and communicating His truth, and are really pretty awesome AND now I can call them my friends!
It's a week I'll never forget and although I'm rather tired, I'm already looking forward to #nd17!!

Click here for link to HOPE HAS A NAME film
Click here for link to LOVE HAS A NAME film
Click here for link to MR BEATBOX film (the only one I'm actually in!)
Click here for link to END OF WEEK REVIEW film‪
   
#‎nd16‬ ‪#‎NewdayCREATIVE‬

I've been dabbling in small ways with art since I can remember but it was about this time last year that God seemed to press the accelerator pedal and I found my soul began to sing
...in colour!

An artist friend of mine had just come back from a trip to Bethel, spending a couple of weeks with their art team. She prayed for me, asking God to impart all she'd received from her visit there, to me, and she gave me a book 'Cultivating Kingdom Creativity' by Theresa Dedmon.

Reading the first few chapters during my holiday, I was challenged and inspired about the idea of prophecying (bringing God's messages of encouragement to people) through art. My dialogue with God went 'THIS SOUNDS REALLY SCARY BUT IF YOU WANT ME TO STEP OUT IN THIS, I'LL GIVE IT GO'.

Literally the next day I received an email from the arts team leader for David's Tent with a rota of when I would be serving as a prophetic artist over the weekend (I'd been given 12x15 minute slots when I would be booked to draw pictures for people)!  The email had been sent in error, as I had only applied to be a delegate and to have my first go at painting in the worship times there, but the coincidence of the timing of this after what I'd been reading and saying to God made me think He might have other plans. I explained to the team leader that there'd been a mistake BUT that I thought God might be inviting me to have a go, if they'd show me how and wouldn't mind having a complete beginner on the team. ...Not surprisingly David's Tent was a REALLY significant few days. I painted 4 canvases in the big top during the worship (2 of which, people approached me about buying) and I ended up producing about 30 prophetic pictures for individuals over the 2 days, which in God's grace brought encouragement, direction and hope to people.

Back at home I wasn't sure how to translate what I'd learnt at DT into 'normal' life but knew that something had shifted in me, something was growing in me that I wanted to make room for.

At my church I offered to paint in our Ministry Room evenings (monthly times of extended prayer & praise), where I sought to continue learning to worship visually and asked God for messages to bring to the group through my art. I then got asked to paint at our carol service, at the front... for all to see! Which then was followed by the invitation to join the worship team once a month from January, to paint alongside the band in our two Sunday morning services!

Autumn, following DT, was rather swamped with Christmas crochet orders, but once that was over I had space to ask God 'what next?'. I felt Him remind me that I'd always wanted to be a fine artist and that now was the time to go for it. That weekend I received 3 separate commissions for paintings (my first ever) – God was underlining what He'd said. I was now painting regularly in public, getting commissions for work and had this growing visual song within me that needed some way of expressing itself. But with canvas in front of me and paint on my brush I didn't actually know what to do with them. I'd been to art foundation college, studied as an art teacher and no one had ever told me how to paint!

I'd heard about Pattie Ann Hale from another member of the DT arts team (Jude Caisley), I'd really loved her work and asked how she'd developed her style, she told me that Pattie had written a book and had coached her. I got in touch and started weekly Skype sessions from USA.

On sharing my journey and my work thus far with Pattie, by way of introduction, with all my pictures laid out in front of me, I realised that my style was becoming increasingly controlled and tight.

I love pattern and detail and I'm sure this will often show up in my work in various ways but I could see there was a lack of freedom, expression and passion that I knew was inside me. In my life I've recognised that when I feel insecure and threatened by my circumstances I tighten control, it makes me feel safer, this can help initially but often becomes a bit obsessive and fear driven. When I came to the canvas my lack of technique and experience was making me feel inadequate and rather vulnerable in the public role I'd found myself in. I have asked Pattie to help me overcome this, to help me grow in technique and ultimately to find my unique visual voice.

It started with 'daily doodles'...

“Let's start at the very beginning, a very good to start….” So in launching my blog I thought it might be good to fill you in on where Flourish & Fly came from and how I started my business.

I trained as an art teacher but my artwork went on the back burner while I raised 3 gorgeous girls. I turned 40 a few years ago and I felt it was time for me to flex my creative muscles again and reach for some dreams.
The name Flourish and Fly was inspired by butterflies. They only reach their full potential (and fly) in the second half of their lives. I realised I was entering the second half of my life and it was time for me to 'flourish and fly'.

I founded my business in autumn 2013. My husband gave me a mini break - a couple of days off being a mum, where I registered myself as self-employed, created a website, business card and started taking my work round to local retailers. Not long after that, I created my Etsy and Folksy shops online. I found the shops I approached really wanted to support me as a local artist and gave me invaluable help with pricing and packaging suggestions when I was getting started.

All sorts of unexpected doors have opened to me along the way. Last Christmas I was invited to exhibit in the Cambridge Showcase (alongside a group of 15 artists), I’ve signed a contract with Li & Fung (a large manufacturing company in Hong Kong, selling in stores across USA), I’ve had a three-page interview in Cambridge Magazine (p54-56), had my work in the gallery pages of a Milners Craft crochet book,  been featured in Simply Crochet magazine & been the 'featured maker' for Folksy, as well as my work being showcased on various blogs. It’s great to be asked to share my story and work, as I hope it inspires others to reach for their dreams and embrace their own creativity.

Flourish and Fly has been going for nearly 3 years now. Crochet was always my first step towards further creative plans once I had more time and space, and my success has surprised me. Now my youngest daughter has started school and time is opening up I'm seeking to develop as a fine artist. I am currently turning our garden shed into an art studio and getting weekly painting coaching sessions by Skype with Pattie Ann Hale, an artist in America. I've started this blog so people can join me on this next chapter – the one where I learn to paint!

“I'm no good with words”… that's what I've always believed. I was encouraged by my teachers to avoid subjects with a written focus, I find reading difficult and often struggle to express my opinion in conversation.

Recently God has challenged me on this, that as a child of God this lie spoken over me has no hold and no place. He is inviting me into a fresh season of creativity, and words are to be embraced in this… poetry, song writing, blog writing… so here goes!

I am currently emerging from being a 'stay at home mum' (now Esme, our youngest of 3 has started school), like a butterfly from it's chrysalis ready to flourish and fly. I launched my business Flourish & Fly in 2013 (which you can read about here) starting with crochet and photography. Now I have more space and time I'm seeking to develop as a fine artist.

I'm learning to paint and wondered if you would like to join me on the journey.

Paint can be immediate, messy, expressive, big, intricate, layered, patterned and colourful. I want to explore these things and find my voice, my own song within it.

I'm doing things in a rather odd order. I went to art foundation college, trained as an art teacher but never got taught how to paint! Over the past few years I've had a growing desire to express myself in prayer and worship to God visually. Tacking sugar paper to the cupboard doors at church on a Sunday and sketching led to a weekend at David's Tent last summer where I painted on my first canvas, this was followed by an invitation at the start of this year, to paint at the front of City Church as part of the worship team once a month. I've found myself painting in public before actually learning how to paint!!

So I've got myself a painting coach. Pattie Ann Hale who Skypes me from America once a week. And I've started on my journey of discovery.

One of the things that God has stirred in me (alongside my own creative development) is a passion to equip and encourage creativity in others. I believe that creativity is something very close to God's heart and such a fundamental part of his character. It's multifaceted, taking different forms in each of us. It engages with our hearts and minds in different ways, adding dimension, taste, depth, texture, richness and revelation. It aids our expression, our understanding, our memory, our relaxation, our connection to others, going beyond language, beyond reason and beyond the normal limitations of age and culture.

So another hope of mine in starting this blog is that as people follow me on my journey of learning to paint, learning to find my creative voice, they will be in some way inspired in their own walk.